


When Dad Goes Away

by cruelest_month



Series: Kid Loki [8]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Family, Fluff, Future Fic, Gen, Kid Fic, Kid Loki, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-21
Updated: 2012-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-10 09:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruelest_month/pseuds/cruelest_month
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has a hard time dealing with Phil going away. Clint distracts him with tree-climbing, books, board games, and Duplo play-sets. (Loki is 5 years old)</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Dad Goes Away

Being an Agent of SHIELD and of equal value on and off the field, Phil did not get sent away very often. He never got loaned out either. He helped out with a lot of recruitment and training seminars for Junior Agents, but usually he would be gone for most of a day or overnight in extreme circumstances.

Because he was five, Clint and Phil both figured going away for longer stretches of time would have a less drastic effect on their son. And they’d not really been given much of a choice in that respect when Fury needed Phil elsewhere. But then Fury had it easy. He didn’t have to devastate a small child or, at least, not directly. Either way, it seemed that by the age of five, Loki had come to expect that even if Clint went away, Phil never would.  That Phil was basically his.

That wasn’t to say that Loki wasn't upset when Clint was gone, but usually the misery and hurt happened when Clint was already in the field. When Phil tried explaining he had to go away for four days, Loki was upset right away. Upset being the understatement of the millennium.

Thor had joined them looking decidedly angry. Then he settled on puzzled when Loki latched onto him. “What are you doing to my brother?”

“Disappointing him,” Phil muttered quietly as Loki tried to explain to his brother what was going on.

Clint suspected no one was supposed to really take notice of it, but even without the verbal indicator, there was a slump to Phil’s shoulders and a grim look that Clint hadn’t seen in a long time.

Thor considered them before picking Loki up. “I think we should talk about this elsewhere,” he said before leaving the room.

Phil sighed.

“It’s just going to suck,” Clint said gently, resting a hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Having you go away was pretty much destined to suck.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“How are you going to get out of it?”

“I could come up with something.”

“Since when do you come up with excuses for getting out of assignments?”

Phil shrugged. “It’s just a lot of meetings and orientations.”

Clint shook his head. “Look, he’s already upset. If you stay that will only make things worse later on when you have no choice and you have to leave.”

“Isn’t that what I always say to you?”

“It’s worked well so far. Although… I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him this upset about me leaving.”

Phil gave Clint a look. “Now that he’s a bit older, it’s a little less difficult when you’re packing and heading out the door. But he starts to lose his mind around day two when he decides that clearly you’ve left forever and you’re gone for good. Then the misery just sort of comes and goes without warning until you’re back.”

“Geez. Well. Thor will come up with something encouraging to say.”

“I guess,” Phil said. “And I have a few days until I head out. Maybe he’ll adjust.”

-

Of course Loki did not adjust. He just kept unpacking Phil’s suitcase whenever Phil packed it. Clint had to leave the room for a bit because he knew laughing was only going to make Loki cry and Phil irritated.

Less amusing, however, was Loki barring the sliding doors to the Avengers Tower with the world’s most injured look on his face.

Steve eventually knelt down near him and spoke to him in a low, soothing tone for about fifteen minutes before Loki moved. Even then he looked absolutely miserable and refused to look at Phil. He seemed unlikely to hug back when Phil hugged him, but eventually he relented, wiping at his face when Phil moved on to giving Clint a kiss and then heading out the doors.

At that point, Loki latched back onto Phil and started sobbing.

Phil paused to hold him for a while before finally leaving, looking grim and miserable.

Clint went over to Loki but he got a pretty hearty shove for his trouble.

Wanda patted Clint’s shoulder. “May I?”

Clint nodded, silently wishing her the best of luck.

Wanda gently knelt down next to Loki and wiped at his eyes. Then she used her magic to make colorful, wispy butterflies appear and flutter around the room.

Loki eventually calmed down enough to watch them but he seemed pretty distraught.

Clint got himself a drink when Steve decided it was high time he taught Loki how to play Monkey in the Middle. Thor and Bruce went with them. Normally Clint would have loved watching Thor --and possibly the Hulk-- behave like a jackass in order to appease a five year old, but he felt a bit worn out.

Tony had joined him. “It’s this or therapy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. This whole thing reminds me of my old man. Minus the hugs and actually giving a shit,” Tony said. “As upset as Loki is, as much as it probably hurts every little fiber of his little being… He misses you and he misses Phil because he loves both of you. Because you both love him. Not because he’s trying to cling onto whatever good moment happens to wander by.”

“It’s weird,” Clint admitted.

“It’s not weird,” Tony said. “It’s awesome. Kids need that. They need stability and consistency and energy and attention and all the other things Phil excels at.”

Clint laughed. “What about me?”

“You do all right sometimes.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I don’t think any of us had good parents outside of Phil and possibly Steve,” Tony mused. “Bruce had lousy ones. Natasha… I’m guessing she had bad ones. I guess Thor loves Odin, but… that doesn’t mean he was a class-act either.”

Clint nodded. “Thor’s home is here now. With us.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

And they did.

-

Being a responsible adult, Clint settled for one drink and tried not to look surprised when Tony didn’t help himself to more. But then Tony had been cutting back.

When Clint went to retrieve his child, they were still playing the same game. Thor was pretending he didn’t know how to catch a ball, which seemed to delight Loki. Bruce had recently shifted back and was drinking Gatorade. He was wearily nodding as Wade Wilson aka Deadpool talked his ear off.

Clint was fond of Wilson because he was one of those people you either developed a fondness for or an eagerness to maim. He was one of the younger recruits to SHIELD and definitely the strangest. Despite his gift for gab, the kid hadn’t been able to talk his way onto the Avengers yet but he had somehow managed to become a regular facet of Loki’s life.

Bruce held up a hand.

“And that’s why I love Bea—Got a question, Dr. Banner?”

“I do, actually,” Bruce said with a polite, strained smile. “Why are you here?”

“I got assigned to Loki for the next four days.”

“Really?” Clint asked, joining them.

“How is that even surprising?” Wade asked. “I get assigned to your kid an awful lot.”

“He likes the way you read.”

“That’s cool.”

“I’m sure you’ll get real assignments someday.”

Wade shrugged. “Considering how the last one went, this is probably my life from here on out. And I know I should feel like it’s a little beneath me given my skills and the fact that I didn’t sign up to be Peter Pan’s Shadow or Kindergarten Cop 2.0, but you know… Someday your kid might have a team of his own and then I’m a shoe-in for sure.”

Clint grinned. “Yeah well. I’ll talk to Phil.”

Wade winced. “Please don’t. In fact don’t mention me to him at all for a while.” Then he blinked when he got hit upside the head with the ball. “Who threw that? And don’t point at Loki because he can’t throw worth a… insert something appropriate here.”

“Thor!” Loki declared.

Thor laughed heartily. “I shall neither confirm nor deny my involvement in your most minor of injuries, Wilson.”

Wade considered the ball and considered Thor and then probably considered what had happened the other eighty times he’d tried this. Then he threw the ball anyway, which bounced off Thor’s jaw much to Loki’s delight. “You’re a total jerk, Thor.”

“And you are an irritating and churlish knave who has no business calling me a jerk or throwing toys at me. I should smite you where you stand.”

 “No,” Loki insisted. Then he frowned. “Wait. What?”

“Yeah seriously. What’s up with the GRE vocab?” Wade asked.

“I shall speak however I please and none shall stop me.”

Wade bowed low. “Blow it out ye olde ear, kind sir.”

“You’d think those two would get along all things considered,” Clint murmured to Bruce once Wade and Thor continued arguing about nothing in particular. He wanted to believe it was for Loki’s benefit, but he sort of doubted it. “I mean… Thor loves Volstagg and his other loser friends.”

“I don’t get it at all,” Bruce agreed. “But I suspect it is because Wade gets along with Loki so well.”

Clint grinned. “No way is Thor jealous of Wade.”

“Clearly you haven’t seen them fight over who gets to read to Loki first.”

“Clearly.”

Steve was giving both Wade and Thor a disappointed look.

Loki watched them before noticing Clint and then hurrying over to him. “You’re still here,” he said, looking sad and solemn.

“I am still here,” Clint agreed, blinking a bit when Loki gave him a tight hug.

“You miss father, too, right?”

Clint picked Loki up. “Of course I do, baby. I always do.”

“I hate this.”

“I know. Um. You know what? Let’s go climb a tree. That always cheers me up.”

-

The park was pretty quiet with very few people around. Clint took note of Wade’s position and found a tree nearby.

And just to keep Loki in good spirits, Clint agreed to do his best imitation of an orangutan as he carried him up.  The only other thing he had to carry was a backpack full of supplies and that wasn’t very heavy either.

Once they found a branch large enough, Clint made them a makeshift nest with some blankets. Then he read _My Friend is Sad_ and _Can I Play Too?_

“What was it like in the circus?” Loki asked, snuggling up against Clint.

“Again? I think I’ve told you about the circus a thousand times now.”

Loki smiled up at him, looking hopeful.

“Well, there were a lot of big cats. Lions and tigers and whatever. There was this Maltese tiger with soft grey fur. She was really sweet.”

“What else?”

“There was a boy with green and blue snake scales all over his face and his arms. And a lady with a beard. And a very tall man and a very short guy. And a family of trapeze artists.”

“And you?”

“And me.”

“What did you do?” Loki asked, looking as eager as ever to hear about Clint’s short-lived career as a carnival act.

“I was the Amazing Hawkeye. The World’s Greatest Marksmen. I hit all kinds of targets wearing a blindfold. I shot apples off of people’s heads with arrows. And I used throwing knives, too.”

“And now?”

“Now I have an amazing family which is much better than being in a circus.”

“Okay then.”

Clint laughed. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

They stayed up there looking for birds and squirrels. And once they were back on the ground, they went hunting for acorns. Every now and then Clint found a bright-colored leaf and added it to the pile of nonsense they were accumulating.

“Father will be back soon… Right?”

“In four days. Five at the latest. We can call him tonight if you want.”

Loki worried at his lower lip.

Clint crouched down. “We can also not call him. That’s okay too.”

“It’s hard.”

“Totally.”

“I wish you could both just stay.”

“I know you do, but you know he’ll be back. And even if we don’t call him, you have to try not to be too mad at him, okay? He wouldn’t leave unless it was important. I wouldn’t leave unless it was important either.”

Loki nodded glumly before hugging Clint’s arm. Eventually, he wiped his face on Clint’s sleeve and asked:

“Can we make something to eat with acorns?”

Clint laughed, ruffling Loki’s hair. “I kinda doubt it, buddy. Maybe Thor knows of a recipe though.”

Loki made a face.

“No good?”

“No good,” Loki agreed. “Can we go eat something else? I’m hungry.”

“Pizza?”

“Okay. Can Wade come with?”

“Yeah, we should probably feed him too.”

-

Clint sent Wade a text then he invited Natasha to dinner for several reasons. The first one being the look on her face whenever she was around Wade. The second one being that he figured he’d need something to preserve his sanity.

Loki seemed immune to any negative side effects of Wade Wilson’s assorted rants and rambles, but he wasn’t unhappy to see Natasha. Or Bucky since Natasha had refused to join them without Bucky coming along for the ride.

Loki didn’t seem to mind at all. He just insisted that Bucky tell him how he lost his arm. Bucky told him it had been severed in a battle against space pirates, which satisfied Loki and resulted in Wade going on and on about how much he wanted to be a sky ship captain. And then telling Bucky all about the plot of some Jude Law film.

Since even Russian swears were inappropriate around a young alien, Natasha just sighed and cut up Loki’s pizza into smaller pieces.

“I need to come up with some plans for the rest of this weekend,” Clint said once no one else was paying much attention.

“There’s a circus in town.”

“Can’t. Loki’s first anything has to include Phil and copious amounts of pictures for some heinous scrapbook I’ve yet to see.”

Natasha made a face. “Wait. Didn’t they go to the aquarium without you?”

“That’s the nice thing about me. I’m flexible.”

“TMI,” Wade said before going back to trying to explain the differences between Dieselpunk and Steampunk to Bucky. Loki was coloring his children’s menu and eating bits of pizza every now and then.

When they got back to the Tower, Wade stuck around and they played Enchanted Forest, one of the many family-friendly board games Phil had recently purchased. The objective was to look for treasure under plastic pine trees and to memorize the location of each particular object.

If Phil was there, he’d have made Loki tell him what fairy tale the objects came from or tell him the story if Loki didn’t know it. But Clint didn’t feel like pretending to be both himself and Phil for days on end. So he let it go.

Afterwards, Loki arranged all the pine trees randomly over the board and knocked them down with a plastic dinosaur while Wade supplied the sound effects.

“Thus endeth the Enchanted Forest and its reign of terror most foul,” Wade said, sounding like a cross between Thor and Santa Claus.

Clint rolled his eyes, but he was pleased when Loki giggled. And when both his child and Wade continued acting like hyperactive five year olds, he decided not to bring up the option of calling Phil. He just sent Phil a text, updating him on everything they’d done.

-

The next morning, Clint woke up to find he was not only one husband short but also one child. But there was a note taped to his forehead indicating where Loki was so Clint took a quick shower, threw on some clothes, and took the elevator down to the kitchen.

Pietro and Loki were sitting at the table eating breakfast.

“Huh. I thought Wade left the note.”

“I took over once their cartoons were finished,” Pietro explained. “A child’s food must be prepared properly and with care.”

“Pirate Eyes!” Loki said, pointing to his plate. Alongside some fresh fruit and two pieces of bacon was a piece of toast with an egg cooked into its center.

“That’s great,” Clint said. He cut up some of Loki’s food into smaller bites then stole a blueberry before sitting down at the third seat at the table. He figured the plate under the domed lid was probably for him. “And this was really nice of you. Thanks.”

Pietro shrugged.

Clint wished sometimes he could figure out what Pietro was thinking or what new wall was going up around the mutant this time. Pietro just never seemed completely comfortable. Instead he always seemed to be bracing himself for something as if at any moment everything to change and for his presence to no longer be required. Unlike Wanda who tried to go out of her way to endear herself to the team because she wanted to belong with them, Pietro maintained a somewhat surly attitude. He was blunt and honest but most of the time, he was fair. He just wasn’t going to play nice in order to be treated nicely.

Loki munched on some bread before asking: “Can there be other eyes?”

Pietro raised an eyebrow. “Have I created a monster or have you always been in the habit of eating eyes?”

Loki laughed. “Not real eyes,” he insisted. “But if there’s Pirate Eyes, there must be other Toast Eyes.”

“It’s a thought,” Pietro said. “I suppose we could dye the eggs pink and have Red Eyes. Or were you hoping for something more along the lines of a Princess Eye or a Dragon Eye?”

“Yes! The Princess one should be purple.”

Pietro smirked at Clint. “I agree.”

“And the Dragon one should be green. And stripes for the Tiger Eye.”

“You weren’t wrong about creating a monster,” Clint murmured when Loki continued coming up with eye designs.

“He’s a very likable one,” Pietro said with a hint of a sincere smile. “I would be only too happy to continue making him breakfast until he runs out of ideas.”

-

After breakfast, Loki became a bit gloomy and very quiet. He didn’t start crying though. He just curled up on the couch next to Clint, looking troubled.

“Did you have any homework?”

Loki shook his head. “Professor Charles doesn’t let anyone give me homework. Even Storm. He says learning should be fun.”

“It can be,” Clint said, hoping Loki wouldn’t ask for examples. “Want me to read to you?”

Loki shook his head.

“We could play a board game or a video game?”

Loki shook his head.

Clint considered the pros and cons of calling Phil. There weren’t a lot of cons but he wasn’t sure if leaving a voice message was going to cheer their son up if Phil was in some kind of meeting.

Thankfully his cell phone started playing the James Bond theme. Loki perked up a little bit, but not by much. Clint checked his temperature before getting the phone.

“Hey,” Clint said when he answered. “You have great timing.”

“I make an effort,” Phil said. “And it’s been approximately twenty-three hours since I spoke to either one of you.”

“There is that.”

"If he doesn’t want to talk—”

“I’m pretty sure Loki would love to talk to you.”

Clint held the phone up to Loki’s ear.

Eventually he spoke very quietly into the receiver. For the most part he answered whatever Phil was saying with a yes or a no.

“Can you call again later?” Loki asked. “Because I miss you.”

Phil must have answered in the affirmative because the kid let out a deep breath.

Saying goodbye seemed to be the worst part of it. Clint gave Loki a one-armed hug as he took the phone back.

“I’ll call in a few hours,” Phil said. “Unless that’s just going to make things worse.”

“I doubt it,” Clint said.

“Well, don’t take it personally if you can’t cheer him up,” Phil gently suggested. “Just give him a lot of undivided attention and try to keep the others from getting so involved. He doesn’t really want them right now. He wants you and me.”

“Roger that,” Clint muttered. “I miss you too, by the way.”

“I miss both of you more,” Phil insisted before hanging up.

-

Clint took Loki to a bookstore where they tended to crank the AC all the way up even in the early Fall. Loki perked up a little but for the most part he poked listlessly at things with one hand while holding on tightly to Clint with the other.

As per usual, Clint was getting looks from people who were trying to figure out if he was single. A few women who had originally been discussing a scandalous book seemed to be trying to figure out if he was a celebrity or not.

They moved to a quieter area further away from the bookstore’s café where there were picture books, chapter books, and a section full of vaguely educational toys.

Clint found some brightly colored and very short chapter books that seemed like they’d make for good bedtime story fodder. Then he read to Loki from a pop-up fairy tale storybook that was marked as For Display Only.

While Loki took a nap, Clint drank some coffee and rummaged through the store’s selection of Legos until Loki woke up again.

“Hey, what do you think of this police officer and his cool bike?” Clint asked.

Loki made a face. “No, thank you.”

“What about this construction set? Or here’s one for a car wash. That’s cool. What do you think?”

“No, Daddy. You don’t pick the right things.”

Clint laughed. “Okay, fine.” He set Loki down, ruffling his hair before moving back. “Which one do you like?”

Loki made a beeline for a Snow White set that came with a tree, a bunny, two birds, and a purple cottage.

“This one. It’s pretty _and_ cool.”

 “Well, yes,” Clint said, scratching the back of his neck. “But… Wouldn’t you rather have some cars?”

“No. I don’t like cars. I like father’s helicopter.”

Clint decided not to point out that Phil did not own the helicopters he used. He didn’t think Loki would believe him. “Wouldn’t you rather have a doctor with a car and medicine instead of a princess and her animal friends?”

Loki looked puzzled. “Why?”

“Well…”

“I like animals. Is that bad?”

“No, that’s a very good thing. Animals are awesome.”

“Then… are princesses bad?”

“They wear a lot of pink sometimes, but no. Princesses are awesome too.”

Loki smiled hopefully. “So I can get this. Right?”

“Right,” Clint said, returning the smile. “Of course you can.” He picked up the books, the Duplo set, and then his son before heading towards the cash registers.

“Thank you, daddy.”

“You’re welcome.”

Loki had made some good points and he was pretty sure Phil would have bought the Snow White set. And probably delivered a lecture on all the reasons why it wasn’t a good idea to pass along old-fashioned notions of what boys and girls were expected to enjoy.

None of that stopped Clint from glaring at the cashier when he set the bright pink box down on the counter though.

They ate an early dinner and they had ice cream before putting Snow White and her friends together. Then Phil called and Loki told him all about his new toy. And Clint’s initial fear of it.

“For the record, I wasn’t afraid,” Clint said when it was his turn to talk to Phil. “It’s just that the box was incredibly pink and I really liked the car wash set.”

“Loki likes animals and he’s rarely around cars or trains or trucks. He likes Snow White because he watches her movie all the time with Steve. I think Snow White’s his favorite Disney princess.”

“Please don’t sound so proud of Steve when you say things like that,” Clint insisted. “Also… _Her_ movie?”

“Snow White’s the title character.”

“I know, but that’s sort of cute that you talk about her like she’s a real person.”

“What’s cute is that there’s going to be another pink box in your near future.”

Clint smirked. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Phil chuckled warmly. “Duplo Cinderella and Prince Charming have a very large castle. I’m buying it for Loki.”

“At least get him a helicopter toy of some kind then,” Clint pleaded. At some point, they really would have to cut back on the amount of nonsense they bought Loki, but today wasn’t going to be that day. “He likes those and eventually he’ll realize how cool other modes of transportation are. Honest.”

“Will it make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Then I might as well.”

“Cool,” Clint said. He smirked and added: “So. Who’s your favorite Disney princess?”

“Tough call,” Phil said. “But you sort of look like one in your old costume.”

Clint snorted. “Uh huh. I’m hanging up on you now.”

“Let me talk to Loki for one more minute then.”

They talked for more than a minute, but afterwards, Loki looked happier. Apparently Phil recited Loki’s favorite grasshopper picture book to him over the phone.

After that, Duplo Snow White got left behind so Loki could get a bath. Then they had a very epically long story time until Loki fell asleep.

-

The next two days passed in the same sort of way even after more Duplo sets arrived. They put the helicopter together and that was it. Loki refused to so much as touch the castle until Phil came home. Phil continued to call at regular intervals, but the days were long and Loki spent a decent amount of them being unhappy.

The morning of Phil’s return was difficult too if in a slightly different way since Loki wasn’t moping so much as anxiously eying the door. Knowing Phil would be back wasn’t the same as having him back, after all.

So Clint sat on a set of stairs while Loki sat as close to the doors as he could without risking getting trampled on by whomever else might enter the tower.

“Aw, look at you all camped out and waiting. You’d think someone important was going to visit,” Tony teased at one point.

Loki gave him a look, and Tony left the room, muttering something about creepy children taking after creepy agents.

Around lunchtime, the doors finally slid open and Loki had his father back. Phil walked in and Loki all but tackled him hello.

Phil laughed before picking Loki up and hugging him.  “Hello,” he said, kissing Loki’s cheek.

“Don’t go away again.”

“Not for a long while,” Phil promised.

“But father…”

“I know. Trust me. It was horrible being without you.”

“It was worse for me and daddy.”

“I’m very sorry.”

Clint took a moment to feel slightly, irrationally jealous. Then he settled on completely relieved before joining them.

“Hi,” Phil said to Clint after Loki was done introducing him to Duplo Snow White. Phil looked worn out but also pleased. Clint couldn’t blame him. It had to be nice to actually get to be the one that was missed for a change.

“Hi,” Clint said kissing Phil’s lips and then smirking. “I’m glad you came back. There’s a castle that needs building.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, fangirlSevera for the beta!


End file.
